Italian Myths...BUSTED!!

Buongiorno famiglie, amici, e tutti!

After a solid month of going and coming and losing sleep and travelling to foreign lands, we felt it necessary to spend some time exploring our own city. (slash, we hit the point of exhaustion that can only come after four weeks of constant travelling, and a very stressful final, which actually didn't end up being that bad.) In order to properly recover, we were forced to spend an afternoon at Katie's house with a beautiful Disney classic- Bella e La Bestia- and gallons of tea pumped into our systems. Turns out, the movie is actually better in Italian than in English. We found the lines more romantic and as a result, spent the rest of the afternoon quoting the dramatic, final scene...
Bestia: Sei tornata... (You came back...)
Bella: Non potevo lasciarti da solo! Non lasciarmi! (I couldn't leave you alone! Don't leave me!)
Bestia: Forse... *gasp* è meglio... *gasp* così... (Maybe... *gasp* it's better... *gasp* this way...)
Bella: NO!! Non dirmi queste cose! (NO!! Don't say these things!)
Bestia: *dies*
Bella: Ma... ti amo... *dramatic tears* (But... I love you...)
Bestia: *transforms* Bella... Sono io. (Belle... it's me.)
Bella: *searches face for remnants of the Bestia she knows and loves* Sei proprio tu! (It really is you!)
*music swells* *kissing and fireworks and lots of transformations* *Katie and Ari tear up and try to hide it*
Fin.

We will take this moment to thoroughly apologize for that. We are massive dorks. You love us anyway.

Saturday was spent sightseeing churches/gardens, etc. and picnicking in Padova. Sunday we hopped the morning train to Venice and spent the day giggling, eating, and socializing with gondoliers. We think it is amazing that we can just, you know, head over to Venice for the day and hang out. It is only about a 25-minute train ride, and only like 2 Euro. That night we went back to Katie's house and watched Airplane!. It was lovely.

Since this past weekend the two of us decided to remain in Padova for some much needed rest and relaxation (R&R for all you hipsters up on your abbrev's), we figured that this blog entry would be the perfect opportunity to present to you, in its true, raw, unedited form...what Italy is REALLY about.

ITALY 101

Fun Facts/Things that Italy does WAY better:
1. Outdoor markets. In Italy, not only do most residents buy their food daily from markets, but these wonderful stalls sprout up all over the city's piazze selling everything from fresh roasted nuts (roasted in front of you) to incredibly fashionable clothing, for extremely low prices. We have decided that this would not work (tragically) in the US, because unlike Italians, Americans will not buy clothing unless they get to try it on first. Nevertheless, we love the markets here, and can easily pass many hours hunting through the many different stands. Note: Ari has already bought a wonderful purse and scarf, Katie has bought a scarf, and both of us have purchased lots of fruit/picnic materials.

2. Pizza. In Italy when you order pizza at a restaurant, you receive an entire massive pizza all to yourself. There is really no other option here, and if you say you want to split it, they get confused. Sometimes they just say no. Good thing is, the pizza is extremely thin, which means two things: it must be eaten with a knife and fork, and it is actually possible to finish a whole pie. As we are sure you can imagine, they taste WAY better than any sad imitation coming out of the US. They also have really interesting topping options, like for example, tuna and onion (one of Katie's more interesting experiments), and...french fries. Ari's host brothers love the french fry pizza. We think that is a little disgusting, but...

3. Churches. Here, everywhere you go, there will be more gorgeous churches than you have time to see. They are massive, full of lofty domes, stained glass, frescoes by famous artists, and the tourists experience rare moments of silent reverence when inside. We think it is interesting that in America, the main tourist spots are often government buildings or modern architecture, while the biggest attractions here are the basilicas.

4. The Italian idea of time. Here, nobody freaks out about timeliness, work hours, schedules, bus times, or really anything that Americans develop ulcers about. Katie loves it, considering her general inability to be on time. Ever. We also just love that the things that Italians value most do not revolve around a tight schedule... if they are enjoying their socialization and nap time after lunch, then they may just not reopen their store for a few hours. Or if it is raining outside, (tempo brutto), they might not open their store at all. Just because they don't feel like it. There are also random and mandatory 'days of rest' for every type of business. So maybe on Tuesday afternoon... shoe stores won't be open. Or on Wednesday night... food stores. Or whatever. When Italians hear about what Americans consider a 'normal' work week, they think we are crazy.

5. Pasta. We're not gonna lie to you. The food here is way, way, way better. Always. We have yet to have a bad meal, and we've been adventurous. This includes horse, sardines, unidentifiable meat sandwiches, fried cheese slabs, and then of course, the staples (pasta, polenta, minestrone, salad, pizza, etc.). Americans do not know how to cook pasta. Here, no matter where you buy your pasta (dining hall, fast food, bar) it will be perfectly al dente with sauce made from fresh ingredients, served warm. It is considered a sin to let your pasta get cold here...they actually get a little offended if you take too long to eat it. As for desserts- gelato kicks ice cream booty. Bacio (chocolate and hazlenut) is our favorite flavor thus far. We have also embarked on a quest to find the country's best tiramisù... it's a tough job, but someone has to do it. So far Katie's favorite was her Italian family's nonna's. Ari's was one we had in Florence.

6. Shopping in general. The clothes in the US can't even begin to compete with the clothes here. Even the stuff for 10 Euro at the markets is cuter than in any US mall. We think this is because the styles are classy, classic, simple, and flattering. Nothing is overdone (except occasionally the shoes. Bright gold sequined sneakers are fairly common here).

7. The family dynamic. There is so much more emphasis on family closeness here. Like for example, in Ari's host family, the nonna regularly sends food over for the family and occasionally irons the laundry. In return, her parents go over there, walk her dog, and take care of her apartment. She lives two blocks away. This also means that meals are an elaborate affair, often lasting many hours until the family has fully caught up on everyone else's lives. This part of the day is never rushed, since socialization is definitely the priority here.

8. Cleanliness. Every day we walk past old little shop owners washing the sidewalks outside of their stores. And we have never experienced laundry so clean and good-smelling. When we return from weekend travels, our rooms are spotless.

9. Architecture. Since Italy was built wayyyy before the US, the buildings here tend to be ancient and beautiful. Of course, we realize that what may be charmingly crumbly to us tends to just mean old and crappy to the residents. Nevertheless, our surroundings are always picturesque.

10. Train travel. And really travel in general. It is so common to backpack all over Europe, that the train system is surprisingly easy to navigate, cheap, and generally enjoyable. It is sad that this does not exist in the US. Hostels are also everywhere, and not the horror movie/cockroach-laden type, but clean, affordable, and filled with friendly travellers from all over the world.

Things We Miss
1. Communication. It makes us so sad that we only have a limited number of hours per day/week online. We have so many things to accomplish plan-wise, and so many people that we want to communicate with! Internet access is underrated. And we miss it. We also miss being able to check the weather forecast for the day, and not having to pay the big bucks to talk to our loved ones on the phone :(

2. Cars. While in Padova, we really have to walk everywhere (or figure out the bus system), which is good for burning off pasta, but bad for other reasons. We do enjoy walking around and taking in the daily sights, but the weather is already getting coldish, which makes being outside slightly less appealing. Also, it is tragic that Ari and Katie live so far apart (a 50 minute walk), because the buses don't run at night, so we can't really visit each other after dinner to hang out/watch movies, etc.

3. Normal work hours. Although it is charming that people here feel that they can open and close their stores whenever they want... it is kind of annoying if you have to purchase anything in the middle of the day. Or if you need to eat out and all of the restaurants are randomly closed. This would not happen in the US. Also, don't even bother trying to find ANYTHING open on a Sunday. The entire country shuts down on Sundays...sometimes this bleeds over into Mondays as well.

4. Being generally regarded as intelligent human beings. Since we are only functional (not fluent) in the language, we pretty much get treated like we are very stupid, all the time. Although some things we have mastered (ordering in restaurants, asking for directions, etc.) it is impossible for our truly spectacular wit to shine through all the bumbling idiocy when we try to speak Italian. This also happens with our Italian families. At our houses, the families will chat for a bit, then turn to us and explain very slowly and using tiny words what just went down. Usually we have understood pretty well, but then can't express perfectly our response, so they assume that we are confused. Sad and somewhat frustrating.

5. Hot drinks to go. The cafés here are amazing, but 'to go' practically doesn't exist in this country. So if you want a drink for the road, you are pretty much out of luck. The only remedy for this here is the 'drink at the bar caffé,' which is a shot of espresso consumed quickly and immediately while standing...like a power shot. Ari has completely given up coffee, so although Katie indulges in the espresso shot regularly, Ari is left decaffeinated and sad. That said, hot beverages are generally wonderful here. Especially the hot chocolate, which is really more like a cup of hot, steaming chocolate pudding. Seriously, you need a spoon to consume it, and it makes your whole body feel happy.

6. The US dollar. Enough said.

7. Showers. This is exclusively Katie's issue, because at her house, there is kind of a water problem. First off, the shower head was made for midgets and is the kind that you need to hold in your hand to use properly. Secondly, there are hot water issues. Katie's shower routine: jump in and get body wet during the approx. 40 seconds of warm water, turn shower off, soap hair and body, turn shower back on, rinse off in the approx. 30 seconds of warm water and attempt to condition. Fin. If other things need to be accomplished... they will be done in ice water. Boo.

8. TOILETS. Here in Europe it is completely acceptable (and common) for a bathroom in a restaurant, store, etc. to consist of a gaping hole in the ground. We kid you not. Sometimes they provide you with handy little places to put your feet while squatting and attempting not to pee on yourself. Sometimes not. Even for those who have peed in the wilderness, this is a difficult feat. They claim that it is more sanitary this way...because there is no hiney to seat contact. Katie maintains it is less sanitary because there is no 'spray containment' factor. We have expanded our bladders by astronomical amounts since arriving, because we avoid the hole-in-ground situation whenever possible. This newfound skill is also useful on train trips, because the bathrooms in the stations are 'pay to pee only' and the bathrooms on the trains... are unmentionable and terrifying.

Myths... BUSTED!
1. Coffee is the only acceptable hot drink in Italy. FALSE. Basically every place that serves coffee also offers tea, you just have to ask for it, because it often is not on the menu.

2. People in Italy frown upon wearing flip-flops and shorts. FALSE. They are quite common, especially among the younger generation, but they are often dressed up a little more. Example- shiny gold studded flip-flops and cute little tweed shorts (maybe with leggings underneath).

3. Italians are greasy and smell bad. FALSE. They are actually kind of freakishly clean, and most of the smelly people we have encountered are from other countries. This often happens on trains, when you are shmooshed up against some stinky stranger in the compartment between train cars. We actually happen to think that the Italian men have some secret magic man cologne that they aren't telling the rest of the world about, because when they walk by... happiness.

4. It is absolutely necessary to bring all of your toiletries with you. FALSE. They have everything here that you could ever need...including supermarkets with toiletry aisles. We are bitter about our overweight baggage fees because of 4 months worth of shampoo. Boo.

5. If you come here, you will lose touch with American music. FALSE. It is the preferred music choice. This includes oldies like 'Rock Around the Clock' and 'Ghostbusters'... and follows all the latest pop, like 'I Kissed a Girl.' We wish we could say that we escaped 'I Kissed a Girl' but sadly, we did not. Rap is a little scarce, however.

6. Italian mommas are loud, loving, and try to make you eat WAY too much. TOTALLY TRUE.

7. Italian chicks are wicked hot. Unfortunately, TRUE. They are in perfect shape. And often, stunning.

8. Italian men are overly aggressive. DEPENDS. In the Veneto, where we live, the men are actually kind of similar to American men: sadly lacking in game, with the occasional catcall from older construction worker types. However, the further south you go, the more outspoken the men become. Needless to say, we prefer the south.

9. Nobody speaks English in Padova. MOSTLY TRUE. Every now and then we will encounter a store clerk who insists on replying to us in English even though we keep speaking to him in Italian. This is sad for us, but we do not give up, and eventually they switch back to Italian. Most of the time though, the people know 2 or 3 English phrases and that is it. Like for example, Ari's host brothers last night were showcasing their knowledge of food names:
Alessandro- 'pesh!' (cross between Italian for fish (pesce) and English)
Ricardo- 'feesh!' (fish)
Francesco- 'cock-ee' (cookie)

Stupid Moment of the Week
Katie is often asked by her host mother whether or not she likes the food that is being served at the house for dinner. Katie always tries to explain that she likes all food. Really. And she will still happily eat it even if she doesn't like it. Christiana (host momma) explained that in Italian, the expression for this is 'Sono una buona forchetta (I'm a good fork).' This means 'I will eat anything.' Several days later, with the whole family at the table, Katie randomly announced, 'Sono una forchetta!' (I'm a fork!) while grinning like an idiot at her 'clever' use of slang. The family was like... 'Our host daughter is stupid. How sad for us.' After some blank looks, they said... 'or a spoon? or a knife? or a napkin?' Katie realized she said something dumb... and tried to explain herself. The family got a good laugh. And once again, Katie proved the blonde stereotype transcends language barriers.

So we just realized what a monstrous novel we just wrote for you. We hope you are amused rather than horrified at our verbosity. We love you all, and thanks for reading!

-le ragazze